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Reed Alexander’s Horror Review of ‘The Endless’ (2017)

Stuck at home? At least you’re not The Endless.

I ended up watching this because a friend recommended it after I surprisingly enjoyed Color Out Of Space (2019). The 2010’s brought us a huge uptick in seriously quality Lovecraftian horror, many of which made it on to my ‘All Time Top Horror‘ list.

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Reed Alexander’s Horror Review of C.H.U.D. (1984)

Surprisingly good for bad horror.

This movie is pretty bad, but for what it is, it’s actually quite good. And I don’t mean ‘so bad it’s good,’ I mean actually good. And I’m not grading on a curve here. Don’t misunderstand me, there is so much about this movie that is jut flat out bad that it should fit into the category of good-bad movies. In fact, I struggle to place it anywhere else. It’s a bit of a paradox, a movie being both good and bad while not technically being good-bad.

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Reed Alexander’s Horror Review of ‘Color Out of Space’ (2019)

When the whole movie goes full Cage!

Back in my review of Mandy, (2018) I complained that I didn’t get the ultimate Nick Cage experience I was promised. I was told it would be full force, category 5, Nicolas Cage. I was expecting Cage to deliver the ham of godly proportions. The reason this was so important to me, is that it was litmus test for this movie, Color Out of Space (2019).

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Reed Alexander’s Horror Review of ‘Polaroid’ (2019)

The bad guy is never innocent…

It’s weird that I ended up watching this movie right after the remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street (Elm Str). They have a lot of odd similarities. I think the person who wrote this movie, might have been trying to come up with a new adaption on the Elm Str. concept, and just phoned it in. I mean, a child murderer, with supernatural powers, uses them within a very strict mythos, to murder the children of the people who killed him.

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Reed Alexander’s Horror Review of ‘A Nightmare on Elm Street” (2010)

Unpopular opinion time… this was good…

There was nothing really wrong with this remake. Actually, it was pretty damn good. Sure, there was tons of unnecessary CGI, yeah it wasn’t Robert Englund’s Freddy Krueger, YES the original A Nightmare on Elm Street 1984 (Elm Street) was better, but this was good, damn good.

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Reed Alexander’s Horror Review of ‘Bubba Ho-Tep’ (2002)

The best-worst movie you never heard of

If it wasn’t for the internet, this would’ve become just another cult classic… I guess that sorta means it still is a cult classic, but this movie could have faded into obscurity if it was released only a couple years earlier in the late 90s. Meaning, they kinda lucked out riding the crest of the internet age. Right at the start of it all, a time when you could still go viral but right before going viral had lost all meaning.

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Reed Alexander’s Horror Review of ‘The Crazies’ (2010)

Not as much fun as the original

This just wasn’t as much fun as the original. Now, I’m not saying the original was good, I actually thought it was kind of boring considering the concept they had to work with. The difference between the original and the remake can be spelled out by tone and pacing. So far as tone goes, the original mixed a level of absurdity with the violence. Yeah, there were rampaging lunatics, but some of them were fun rampaging lunatics. It gave you the idea that the virus might cause you to be violent but in random and even wacky ways. We’re not talking comedy levels here, just enough to note the difference.

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Reed Alexander’s Horror Review of ‘Suspiria’ (1977)

I’m required by Horror Critic Law to like this movie…

It’s like a right of god damn passage for a horror critic to review this movie, and since the remake, I knew at some point I’d have to bite the bullet and get it over with. I’d seen it a long damn time ago and remembered it fondly. Though, I never did understand how Suspiria became a critics choice for seriously every fucking critic in the horror industry. Don’t get me wrong, its good. Damn good. And for 1977, WAY the fuck ahead of it’s time.

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Reed Alexander’s Horror Review of ‘Suspiria’ (2018)

My. Fucking. God…

Where do I even begin? What an absolutely stunning movie! Everything from the dance choreography to the setting, to the story. There was only a solitary moment that was out of place and I’m really pulling hairs to be critical of even that!

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Reed Alexander’s Horror Review of ‘Event Horizon’ (1997)

Not given enough respect by its director

I’ve always wondered to myself why Event Horizon isn’t higher on my list of top 10 horror movies. It’s not that I don’t firmly stand by my current position for it at #7. It’s just that I never considered why it wasn’t better as I haven’t bothered to go back since I started reviewing movies. So, by this day, November the 14th, year of our lord 2019, eight years after having started my career as a movie critic, I returned to one of my all time favorite movies to give it a closer look.

It’s here I figured out what’s wrong with this movie. The directer phoned it the fuck in. He had something special, but it was delivered by trash studio Dimension Films who lost their cred and simply didn’t take production seriously. There is so much about this movie that was flat out lazy. Paul Anderson must have been siting on his fucking thumbs, blowing bubbles the whole time. Or maybe he was just always a hack. Look at his track record. AvPMortal CombatResident Evil. This man is the king of shameless cash grab, trash films. I feel like the only time he got anything right, it was by accident. And the more I think about it, the more I realize that everything he’s had a hand in almost has a signature sense of over processed laziness.

And it’s a damn shame too because this movie was fucking amazing regardless of how carelessly it was handled. The cast was epic. I mean, Laurence Fishburne, Sam Neill, Kathleen Quinlan, Joely Richardson? There were fewer names I didn’t know than names I did know. The acting was just fucking marvelous. Not quite award winning but damn good all the same. The set and FX were amazing, the atmosphere stunning, and again, I really don’t believe the director was even trying. Thank fucking god his set crew was. The design and attention to detail was every bit as impressive as Alien (1979). I wish they’d used more modeling as apposed to CGI, but it was still really fucking good. The ship Event Horizon, was constructed with agonizing care that you can seriously feel. And the story is just fucking griping.

I have a feeling writer Philip Eisner is a Warhammer 40k fan. What’s presented by the design and function of the gravity drive for the ship is in many respects similar to the gravity drives in the 40k universe. It’s not a new concept, one that was even used by the TV series Babylon 5, but one that isn’t used often and certainly never to this degree. More on that in the spoilers.

This movie was something truly special. Everything came together perfectly like the stars were fucking aligning or something. Sadly, it was largely overlooked by audiences when it came out. But again, it was Dimension Film. Hellraiser: Bloodlines had come out the year before and largely destroyed their reputation. Bloodlines was a highly anticipated film in a beloved franchise that turned out to be an obvious thoughtless cash grab which deeply disrespected the fans. For that reason, fans largely spurned Dimension Films, and rightly so. I almost didn’t see Event Horizon in the theaters because I took one look at it and wrote it off as the ‘new Hellraiser in space.’ I was dragged by a friend and good damn thing too. I did not regret it the way I expected to.

Like I said, the fact that it was a hit seemed like almost an accident. When I watched it this time, it was like every scene I found myself saying “That’s the take you went with?” Not that it was bad but the cutting just didn’t have the same level of care as the acting, the FX, the design, the set, or the writing. It just felt like the director didn’t give a shit. Like some of the forced comic relief from two of the characters. Like the director confused the concept of good horror, and ‘So Bad Its Good’ horror. Like Richard T. Jones who played the role of Cooper. He seemed like he was supposed to be a stand in for Ice Cube from the movie Anaconda. He did an amazing job, which is significant, because his role was nigh embarrassing, completely irrelevant to the plot, and mostly existed for comedic filler. But he’s one of my favorite characters from the movie because he owned that role and made it work.

But I digress, even with the director seemingly making no effort in this movie, it’s #7 on my all time top 10. That’s a feat in of itself. Had there been proper care put into this movie, it could have been #2 or #3. Everything about it was right. So much so that it didn’t matter it wasn’t perfect.

This movie is a must watch AND required viewing for Horror Heads. It delivered on something Dimension Films clearly had no intention on delivering ever again and haven’t sincen.

SPOILERS!!!

It was such a fascinating concept which easily spans both horror and Sci-Fi. The idea that, if there is a point in space beyond space, what is it and what’s in it? As I mentioned before, the concept was touched on in the Warhammer 40k back in the 80s. A concept that was simply called ‘The Warp.’ The bridge between points in folded space was another dimension altogether, and in every respects, what we call hell. Only the Event Horizon doesn’t have the special field to protect it from the demons in the warp like the ships of Warhammer 40k. The ship becomes possessed, seemingly alive, with its own persona and motivations. It appears to have killed its former crew and is back for another one.

Anyone it can kill on the ship basically becomes a part of its retinue. It uses their guilt to control and manipulate them while they’re alive. It can mess with their minds in deep and meaningful ways. The crew of the Lewis and Clark aren’t killed by the Event Horizon, so much as they systematically get themselves killed due to their frantic missteps and hallucination. The only crew member that the ship directly attacks is Justin, when it sucks him into the gravity drive’s gateway. Even still, Justin goes mad from his encounter with ‘hell’ and tries to kill himself. You could argue that the ship possessed him to do it, but ultimately, Justin blows himself out an airlock.

It finally gets hold of Neill’s character Weir, and has him go on a killing rampage. As a mater of fact, only one character dies before Weir starts killing the rest. The rest of the blood and gore is mostly cut scenes and video scrambles; setup for the rest of the movie.

I really do recommend this film. Its special almost because it was nearly destroyed and still managed to be amazing. Imagine that I’m this harshly critical of this movie and yet it’s still #7 on my all time top ten. Absolutely watch this.

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