Tommy has The Shinning…
In my review of White Noise (2005), I asked the question, “why watch that when you can watch this instead?” They were very similar in style and even plot, but White Noise was pretty lame. I mean, it was okay, but not really worth the watch. This one is so much better AND it has Kevin Bacon in it.
Continue reading Reed Alexander’s Horror Review of ‘Stir of Echoes’
Phantasm: The 4th One…
Most of this movie takes place in flashbacks from the first one, or in cars on a dirt road. The rest takes place in the desert. Talk about filming on a budget. I feel like they didn’t get a permit to shoot most of this.
Continue reading Reed Alexander’s Horror Review of ‘Phantasm IV’ (1998)
Slightly better than ‘The VVitch‘…
I suppose it wasn’t bad. I have a lot of the same complaints about this movie as I did The VVitch (2015). Visually, this movie was stunning. Though it wasn’t quite as beautiful as The VVitch the director put the same level of effort into making every scene a work of art. I think it even works a little better than The VVitch, even if the quality wasn’t quite as good. This movie is more of a psychedelic horror like Argento’s Suspiria (1977). It’s visually stimulating and deeply unnerving, likely in an effort to get the audience to trip. It even used synth music in the same stylings as the old horror movies to assist in making every scene discomforting.
Continue reading Reed Alexander’s Horror Review of ‘Gretel and Hansel’ (2020)
Big Trouble on a Little Vessel…
A Russian, an Aussie, a Brit, and an American, bord a ship… Idontfuckingknow, maybe don’t start your movie like a bad bar joke? It doesn’t even make any god damn sense. On what ship, would American, Russian, and Aussie soldiers be together with British Intelligence? It’s a small complaint, and really, the movie was pretty good, so it was also a complaint that I can forgive. It just annoyed me for some reason.
Continue reading Reed Alexander’s Horror Review of ‘Blood Vessel’ (2019)
“Once upon a time, a little mouse moved into St. Marinara’s orphanage. He loved to play games with all the other orphans. But most of all, Chuck E. loved learning to play music. He especially loved the song ‘Happy Birthday.’” – The Story of Chuck E. Cheese
“We’re all mad here.” – Alice in Wonderland
On a recent episode of Wandering Monster, John, Lemons, and I had one of our many discussions regarding monsters – specifically, in this case, monsters from video games. On this occasion, I happened to bring a game to the conversation called Five Nights at Freddy’s (FNAF). For those who have not had the pleasure, FNAF is a game in which one plays as a security guard who keeps tabs on the security cameras in, essentially, a haunted Chuck E. Cheese in which the animatronic performers have come to life and will do creative and terrible things to your body, given the opportunity. The point of the game is to use security doors and your watchful eye to prevent this outcome. FNAF was a monster hit for an indie game, and went on to inspire so many sequels that the creator held the Gunness World Record for “Most Sequels Released in One Year.” I’m sure this was a proud achievement for a guy who launched FNAF based on the spectacular failure and frighteningly bad character design of his previous games. Those game also happened to be exclusively Christian, and thus did not center on homicidal automatons.
I mention this because there’s a great deal of FNAF in the DNA of a truly delightful film – starring Nicolas Cage in full badass mode, no less! – called Willy’s Wonderland.
Continue reading Nicolas in Wonderland
A low bar, a lower accomplishment…
Don’t get me wrong, I like the original Castle Freak (1995) but it never really merited a full review. Compared to the other works of H. P. Lovecraft that got turned into movies (Re-Animator (1985), From Beyond (1986), Dagon (2001), Color Out of Space (2019)), it’s just ho-hum. The other movies are balls-out bonkers and way more entertaining. Effectively, for Castle Freak (1995), there is nothing to review.
Continue reading Reed’s Horror Review, Castle Freak (1995) and (2020), a Comparison.
‘Obsessed Writer Trope: The Movie’
Yeah, you know this movie really wasn’t that bad. It got a lot of shit for shameless jump-scares and thoughtlessly rehashed tropes. Even Stephen King should be mad at this movie for stealing his “obsessed writer gets caught up in horror” trope. I kid but honestly, this did have a similar feel as dozens of Stephen King adaptations because of how often he uses the obsessed writer trope.
Continue reading Reed Alexander’s Horror Review of ‘Sinister’ (2012)
30 minutes of movie in a feature-length film…
So far, I’ve been pretty disappointed with the majority of Shudder Originals, save Mayhem (2020), which was a fucking hoot. Basically, Shudder is 1-3 here and Mayhem doesn’t quite make up for the other three films. However, if you want the ‘too long; didn’t read’ version of this review, it would be “Watch Mayhem instead.”
Continue reading Reed Alexander’s Horror Review of ‘The Shed’ (2020)
I REALLY wanted to like this movie. It’s from the same writer/director as He Never Died (2015), which was fucking epic. It even had some really solid plot ideas. I don’t know who fucked this up, but they fucked it up BAD. Maybe they needed Jason Krawczyk to direct, or maybe Jason was never a good writer and Henry Rollins really did clean up He Never Died (2015).
Continue reading Reed Alexander’s Horror Review of ‘She Never Died’ (2015)
Zombies! Fantasy princesses! Royal ass-kicking! I was super psyched to read this one. It’s not often that a book has an intersection of so many good genres – in this case, horror, fantasy, and YA. Is YA a genre? I’m gonna go with yes. So let’s dig in.
Continue reading Maidens of Zombie Kingdom Book One Review