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Reed Alexander’s Horror Review of ‘Sputnik’ (2020)

Not another Alien knockoff.

You know what I found to be particularly disappointing about this movie? It wasn’t an Alien (1979) ripoff like I was promised. I was told this would have elements of The Thing (1982) and even Life (2017), in the good old-fashioned tradition of Russian Knockoff films. What I got instead, was an intelligent, interesting, and even complex, standalone film that holds itself upon its own merits. I was expecting Xtro 2 (1990) at worst, and Leviathain (1989) at best. I wasn’t expecting this to actually be GOOD.

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Reed Alexander’s Horror Review of ‘Anything For Jackson’ (2020)

Anything for a decent Shudder flick…

Shudder is starting to up their game with their exclusive content. This is good, because so far I’ve been pretty unimpressed. Out of the several selections I’ve already viewed, most of them were boring or outright bad. But I can honestly say that Anything For Jackson (2020) is damn good. Good enough, where I’m sure it will find a spot somewhere on my top 50. Not high, but on there, and that’s an impressive feat.

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Review: ‘At The Gates of Chaos’ (2021) Edited by Scott Dyson.

In the general vicinity of Chaos…

I think the first thing that was really fetching about this anthology wasn’t just the solid collection of stories, but also the fantastic collection of artwork proceeding each story. Kinda gives it the feel of a Scary Stories to Tell In the Dark, except for adults. The artwork was fascinating and I appreciate the added effort.

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Reed Alexander’s Horror Review of ‘Stir of Echoes’

Tommy has The Shinning…

In my review of White Noise (2005), I asked the question, “why watch that when you can watch this instead?” They were very similar in style and even plot, but White Noise was pretty lame. I mean, it was okay, but not really worth the watch. This one is so much better AND it has Kevin Bacon in it.

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Reed Alexander’s Horror Review of ‘Phantasm IV’ (1998)

Phantasm: The 4th One…

Most of this movie takes place in flashbacks from the first one, or in cars on a dirt road. The rest takes place in the desert. Talk about filming on a budget. I feel like they didn’t get a permit to shoot most of this.

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Reed Alexander’s Horror Review of ‘Gretel and Hansel’ (2020)

Slightly better than ‘The VVitch‘…

I suppose it wasn’t bad. I have a lot of the same complaints about this movie as I did The VVitch (2015). Visually, this movie was stunning. Though it wasn’t quite as beautiful as The VVitch the director put the same level of effort into making every scene a work of art. I think it even works a little better than The VVitch, even if the quality wasn’t quite as good. This movie is more of a psychedelic horror like Argento’s Suspiria (1977). It’s visually stimulating and deeply unnerving, likely in an effort to get the audience to trip. It even used synth music in the same stylings as the old horror movies to assist in making every scene discomforting.

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Reed Alexander’s Horror Review of ‘Blood Vessel’ (2019)

Big Trouble on a Little Vessel…

A Russian, an Aussie, a Brit, and an American, bord a ship… Idontfuckingknow, maybe don’t start your movie like a bad bar joke? It doesn’t even make any god damn sense. On what ship, would American, Russian, and Aussie soldiers be together with British Intelligence? It’s a small complaint, and really, the movie was pretty good, so it was also a complaint that I can forgive. It just annoyed me for some reason.

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Nicolas in Wonderland

S A L T C I T Y S H I V E R S

“Once upon a time, a little mouse moved into St. Marinara’s orphanage. He loved to play games with all the other orphans. But most of all, Chuck E. loved learning to play music. He especially loved the song ‘Happy Birthday.’” – The Story of Chuck E. Cheese

“We’re all mad here.” – Alice in Wonderland

On a recent episode of Wandering Monster, John, Lemons, and I had one of our many discussions regarding monsters – specifically, in this case, monsters from video games. On this occasion, I happened to bring a game to the conversation called Five Nights at Freddy’s (FNAF). For those who have not had the pleasure, FNAF is a game in which one plays as a security guard who keeps tabs on the security cameras in, essentially, a haunted Chuck E. Cheese in which the animatronic performers have come to life and will do creative and terrible things to your body, given the opportunity. The point of the game is to use security doors and your watchful eye to prevent this outcome. FNAF was a monster hit for an indie game, and went on to inspire so many sequels that the creator held the Gunness World Record for “Most Sequels Released in One Year.” I’m sure this was a proud achievement for a guy who launched FNAF based on the spectacular failure and frighteningly bad character design of his previous games. Those game also happened to be exclusively Christian, and thus did not center on homicidal automatons.

I mention this because there’s a great deal of FNAF in the DNA of a truly delightful film – starring Nicolas Cage in full badass mode, no less! – called Willy’s Wonderland.

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Reed’s Horror Review, Castle Freak (1995) and (2020), a Comparison.

A low bar, a lower accomplishment…

Don’t get me wrong, I like the original Castle Freak (1995) but it never really merited a full review. Compared to the other works of H. P. Lovecraft that got turned into movies (Re-Animator (1985), From Beyond (1986), Dagon (2001), Color Out of Space (2019)), it’s just ho-hum. The other movies are balls-out bonkers and way more entertaining. Effectively, for Castle Freak (1995), there is nothing to review.

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Reed Alexander’s Horror Review of ‘Sinister’ (2012)

‘Obsessed Writer Trope: The Movie’

Yeah, you know this movie really wasn’t that bad. It got a lot of shit for shameless jump-scares and thoughtlessly rehashed tropes. Even Stephen King should be mad at this movie for stealing his “obsessed writer gets caught up in horror” trope. I kid but honestly, this did have a similar feel as dozens of Stephen King adaptations because of how often he uses the obsessed writer trope.

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